by Hailey Nguyen
Growing up, I always had a difficult time understanding my identity.
Feelings like this are prevalent among children of immigrants. First-gens confront different obstacles in terms of interacting with their companions, establishing a desire for belonging, and balancing the American culture with their parent's ideals, which derive from land they may or may not have a link to.
When it comes to my upbringing, being a first-gen American has its benefits and drawbacks. I’ve always had trouble understanding who I was, where I truly belonged, and how to navigate life as someone from two different worlds. As time begins to pass, I’ve started to recognize that I need to carve out this unique position I am in to determine the perfect harmony between my two spheres.
My parents fled South Vietnam after the war due to political and economic oppression in hopes of a better life waiting for them in America. In doing this, there were very few options. They couldn’t flee to their neighboring countries, like Cambodia or China, because they supported Vietnam’s corrupt government. The only choice left was to leave by boat. This journey that countless people faced was perilous. Thousands of people died at sea due to bandits or overcrowded flimsy boats. Over 2 million refugees were relocated around the globe, with half of those making it to the United States, courtesy of the fortunate ones who could make it to the refugee camps in Thailand, Malaysia, and the Philippines. My parents were the lucky ones.
Their experiences shaped my youth, and they approached life from a completely distinct perspective than parents who were born in raised in the United States. In addition to being the eldest child out of four, I had to forge my own route and discover how to adapt to the American lifestyle while juggling my parents’ culture and figuring out how to excel academically with little assistance.
Like other children of immigrants, I attend college for various reasons, one of them being to appease my parents. I think most of us would agree that there is some unspoken responsibility that we must fulfill. My parents migrated thousands of miles away from the only place they’ve ever known to a different country in search of a better life. I have no other option except to continue attending school, earn my degree, and succeed in every aspect of life that my parents couldn’t. They’ve sacrificed everything to come to this country, and because of that, I am constantly under so much pressure to satisfy them.
I recognize that I am incredibly privileged and lucky to live in a place where I know that I never need to fight for my own well-being. However, knowing what my parents have gone through to
get me to the place where I am today, there is an underlying expectation from them that can be oppressive from time to time. There is a persistent sense of remorse that I have everything they couldn’t have in life.
My best advice to those in the same position as me is to be proud of your heritage, become your biggest advocate, and do things not just to please your parents but also for yourself. I approach life in two different worlds, and I wouldn’t be the same person without integrating them.
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